The way I see it is that our own plans are never the right ones. I have this whole idea of who I want, what I want, where I'll go and what I'll do but every time I say something like that it's shattered. I've given almost all of those things up to God, which I'm perfectly content with. I just have one slight little thing I haven't given up. My biggest focus, something I want more then anything, and that is finding him. You know, the one who believes the same things I do, the one who laughs at my not funny jokes, the guy who'll bring me on adventures & never want to do them without me. He'll be a fantastic father if we have kids, an amazing spiritual head as he has been called to be. We'll have fun doing nothing together! He's romantic but hilarious, he's tall, has nice eyes and thinks I'm beautiful. You know, the perfect guy for me.
I find myself getting a glimpse of what he could be like and freaking out. He's tall, funny and believes what I believe. And you know, if it is you, I won't be disappointed ... But if it isn't, I know I won't be disappointed. What's the point of worrying? If I'm going to trust God with everything in my life ... as I am, why am I not trusting him with this man.
I guess the real issue is the fact that I want him so badly. I want him now ... Something in me is convinced that my life will be better with him ... I'm probably right, but there's a reason why I haven't met him yet and that's God's plan. I have a lot of explaining to do to this guy when I do meet him. Maybe my next blog will be my sorry note.
I have a lot of growing to do when it comes to trust. Not only do I not trust people, I say God's in control but don't give him everything. So this is me giving him everything. EVERYTHING.
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