Let me introduce myself.
Where to begin ... I'll start here.
Abandoning everything for a God you can't see sounds a little crazy doesn't it. Saying goodbye to the only person you ever truly loved, kind of crazy too. Giving up habits, addictions, entertainment, the closest thing to living life you knew and starting over 23 years too late ... now that's a little crazy. Now what?
For so long I lived the perfect carefree life. On a perfectly straight path in the wrong direction. If you don't believe in anything what do you live for? Satisfying the desires of my mind and body but never of my heart. A carefree life doesn't mean a happy one. Always searching for something you don't want to find. Knowing there's more out there but not willing to sacrifice so little for so much. This is the person I was. The girl of my past life, if you will. I'm almost sad to see her go, she was the life of the party, the personality. Now who am I?
I wish I could answer my own question. I have no idea, but I don't really mind. I abandoned a life that would've worked out, for a life I know nothing about. I prayed to crave and desire a God I wasn't sure existed. Crazy how convictions can get the best of you. I'm so happy they have. I might be in love with a man, but he is not the right man. I might be in love with a life, but it is not the right life.
I wanted to be so much. Now all I want to be is a servant. A servant to glorifying a beautiful, amazing, wonderful God. This blog might make very little sense, which is exactly how I feel ... I abandoned a life of sin for a life of love. God's in charge of my life. What he wants from me I will strive to do. I have a new life now, new goals, new purpose and all I have to do is listen. This isn't my life to do with what I please, this is a gift that I've been given temporarily. This isn't my body, its been lent to me. I have a lot to learn, I have a lot of growing to do but I only look forward to what God has planned for me.
If you don't get what I'm talking about, 3 am probably isn't the best time for me to blog. This is just an introduction to who I am. I've lived one way, now abandoned that life for another. Now I aim to be the woman God's called me to be on my path to eternity. I have a lot to say ... This is just my beginning.
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