Giving it up

The way I see it is that our own plans are never the right ones. I have this whole idea of who I want, what I want, where I'll go and what I'll do but every time I say something like that it's shattered. I've given almost all of those things up to God, which I'm perfectly content with. I just have one slight little thing I haven't given up. My biggest focus, something I want more then anything, and that is finding him. You know, the one who believes the same things I do, the one who laughs at my not funny jokes, the guy who'll bring me on adventures & never want to do them without me. He'll be a fantastic father if we have kids, an amazing spiritual head as he has been called to be. We'll have fun doing nothing together! He's romantic but hilarious, he's tall, has nice eyes and thinks I'm beautiful. You know, the perfect guy for me.

I find myself getting a glimpse of what he could be like and freaking out. He's tall, funny and believes what I believe. And you know, if it is you, I won't be disappointed ... But if it isn't, I know I won't be disappointed. What's the point of worrying? If I'm going to trust God with everything in my life ... as I am, why am I not trusting him with this man.

I guess the real issue is the fact that I want him so badly. I want him now ... Something in me is convinced that my life will be better with him ... I'm probably right, but there's a reason why I haven't met him yet and that's God's plan. I have a lot of explaining to do to this guy when I do meet him. Maybe my next blog will be my sorry note.

I have a lot of growing to do when it comes to trust. Not only do I not trust people, I say God's in control but don't give him everything. So this is me giving him everything. EVERYTHING.

Never forget



Christmas is about such a beautiful thing. It's about the birth of Jesus Christ, Emmanuel (God with us) who took on the life of a human so that he could die to give us all an way to get to the Father. It's such an amazing thing that I wish every one could understand. It's not about the presents, but it is about giving. God gave us the most amazing, beautiful and humble gift we could ever ask for. He gave us everything because he loved us ... His son, to save us.

Christmas is amazing. It brings families together, ignites joy, brings back memories and brings out beauty in unthinkable places. All thats left is we have to try not to forget the reason. The reason for Christmas, the reason for our lives, the reason we can give gifts, the reason we can recieve and the reason Christmas is what it is. The celebration of the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ, for without him none of this would have ever existed.

God saw something beautiful in us that he gave us the most perfect gift: A saviour, so that we, so undeservingly, could spend eternity with him. Lest we forget the true reason for this season, the world's one true hero.

Merry Christmas

I pray that something ignites inside of you that will change you forever.

I pray that this Christmas is more real than any other,

and that you can truly see the beauty that is Christmas.

He was born

to die.

Christmas is about the perfect gift we all forget we've already recieved.

Kiss of everlasting life - welcome to my blog.

Let me introduce myself.
Where to begin ... I'll start here.

Abandoning everything for a God you can't see sounds a little crazy doesn't it. Saying goodbye to the only person you ever truly loved, kind of crazy too. Giving up habits, addictions, entertainment, the closest thing to living life you knew and starting over 23 years too late ... now that's a little crazy. Now what?

For so long I lived the perfect carefree life. On a perfectly straight path in the wrong direction. If you don't believe in anything what do you live for? Satisfying the desires of my mind and body but never of my heart. A carefree life doesn't mean a happy one. Always searching for something you don't want to find. Knowing there's more out there but not willing to sacrifice so little for so much. This is the person I was. The girl of my past life, if you will. I'm almost sad to see her go, she was the life of the party, the personality. Now who am I?

I wish I could answer my own question. I have no idea, but I don't really mind. I abandoned a life that would've worked out, for a life I know nothing about. I prayed to crave and desire a God I wasn't sure existed. Crazy how convictions can get the best of you. I'm so happy they have. I might be in love with a man, but he is not the right man. I might be in love with a life, but it is not the right life.

I wanted to be so much. Now all I want to be is a servant. A servant to glorifying a beautiful, amazing, wonderful God. This blog might make very little sense, which is exactly how I feel ... I abandoned a life of sin for a life of love. God's in charge of my life. What he wants from me I will strive to do. I have a new life now, new goals, new purpose and all I have to do is listen. This isn't my life to do with what I please, this is a gift that I've been given temporarily. This isn't my body, its been lent to me. I have a lot to learn, I have a lot of growing to do but I only look forward to what God has planned for me.

If you don't get what I'm talking about, 3 am probably isn't the best time for me to blog. This is just an introduction to who I am. I've lived one way, now abandoned that life for another. Now I aim to be the woman God's called me to be on my path to eternity. I have a lot to say ... This is just my beginning.